Counting My Blessings

Okay, enough of the self-pity! It is time to appreciate what I have and count my blessings. Here they are as I think of them, NOT in order of importance. I will add more as I think of them.

• I have not had any trigeminal neuralgia pain in a while.
• I have a wonderful family.
• Not only do I love each of them, I also truly like the me.
• The love me!
• They are such characters.
• They are so understanding and supportive of me.
• They keep me real.
• They appreciate what I am able to do.
• I have a good team of health care providers. When I first became ill my previous GP would scratch and shake his head. He finally admitted that he had no idea what was wrong with me. A friend recommended her GP and my life changed. With his guidance, I now have a group of doctor who not only believe fibromyalgia is real (not a garbage can diagnosis) but who also work and play well together. They talk to each other about the best course of action for me and keep each other informed about things.

More to follow.

===

Muscles and tender points - Level 7.
Back - Level
Skin sensitivity - Level 8 OMG I cannot take being touched today!
Dizzy, Need to walk with a cane. – Level 6
Foggy – Level 6
Allergies – Level 4
Tiredness- Level 5

~~~

Reflect on your present blessings,
of which every man has many;
not on your past misfortunes,
of which all men have some.
Charles Dickens
(1812 - 1870)

Living in the moment brings you a sense of reverence
for all of life's blessings.
Oprah Winfrey
(1954 - )
O Magazine

A wise man should consider that health
is the greatest of human blessings,
and learn how, by his own thought,
to derive benefit from his illness.
Hippocraties
(460 BC - 377 BC)
Regimen in Health

I Fell Again

I cannot believe I fell again!

This is the 6th? or 7th time I have fallen in less than a year.
So far these falls have:

• dislocated my shoulder causing extreme nerve damage.
• made it so I have had to lay on the ground until somone has found me to help me get up.
• resulted in me getting black and blue all over.
• humiliated me.
  
• caused me to lack confidence.
• taken away even more of my independence.

I fear that one of these days I am going to hit my head when I fall.

~~~

Fall seven times, stand up eight.
a Japanese Proverb

If you get up one more time than you fall you will make it through.
a Chinese Proverb

SS Disability Paperwork

I wonder how the Powers That Be sleep at night knowing that anyone who really is disabled would never be able to complete the paperwork they require.

Two & one half hours!

Well, my moment of clarity and freedom from pain lasted from 8:00 am until 10:30am. Two and one half hours!

Then I went into almost a week of fog and pain. Communication of any kind was difficult. During this week, my ability to communicate was terrible. Sometimes I could see people trying to talk to me. I could see their mouths moving and I heard sounds coming out but the sounds they made did not make sense. Most did not seem like words at all. Every once in a while a familiar sound would be spoken and I thought of it as a real word but then the rest made no sense.

Why was I pain free and coherent for two and a half hours?
Maybe it was so I could say hello to my family.
Maybe it was to tease me. Show me a glimpse of my past self.

Why did the pain and fog come back after 2 ½ hours?
I took no medicines. I wanted the lucidity to last as long as possible. This would explain why the pain came back but what about the fog? Clearly the fog is not caused simply by the medication.

I hope this made sense. I am still quite foggy.

~~~

The question is,’ said Alice, ‘whether you can make words mean so many different things’”
(Lewis Carroll).

“No one means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous”
(Henry Adams).

The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.
Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science.
Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.
Scott Adams (1957 - )

It is better to obey the mysterious direction, without any fuss, when it points to a new road, however strange that road may be. There is probably as much reason for it, if the truth were known, as for anything else.
H. M. Tomlinson

QUICK!!! TAKE A PICTURE!

I woke up this morning around 8am and I am
PAIN FREE!!!
(Disclaimer- Discomfort, yes, but no pain to speak of!)
AND

MY MIND IS CLEARER THAN IT HAS BEEN IN WEEKS? MONTHS?

QUICK!!!!!
TAKE A PICTURE!!!

24 Hours To Early

I am still in such a fog. Had to go to SSD lawyer’s appointment but I really did not feel up to it. My husband and I arrived 10 minutes early and made our way to his office. His office was one flight up on the second floor. I was standing at the bottom of the steps, psyching myself to start up, when a very well dressed man came hurrying down the steps and left the building. We made our way up the steps and into the lawyer’s office. A young woman turned to us with a startled expression. We introduced ourselves and told her we had an appointment. She apologized and told us the lawyer had just left for court. After checking the schedule she told us our appointment was the following day. Oh boy, we were a lot earlier than we thought.

How could I have made the appointment for Wednesday? I get an adjustment and PT on Wednesdays. To make matters worse the second half of my EMG was scheduled for the same day.

Pain:

• Muscles and tender points. Walking with a cane. Level 8.


• TN Occasional stabbing pain on left temple and by upper back teeth. Level usually 2 occasionally 8.

Exhaustion: Was so tired when I got home I collapsed into a chair and fell asleep for at least 2 hours. Still tired when I woke up. Level 8

Cognitive: Dumb, dumb, dumb! I feel so embarrassed!
Oh well, the bright side is I get to organize my papers a bit better.

~~~

"I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time."
Charles M. Schulz (1922 - 2000), Charlie Brown in "Peanuts"

My Day 10-03-05

I am so exhausted today! I cannot believe how tired I am. For the life of me I cannot figure out why I am so tired. I thought I slept okay. Sure, I woke up a few times to get more comfortable. TN pain woke me up once. My burning feet woke me up a couple times. Hmmm, now that I typed this out maybe I did not sleep as well as I thought I had.

My legs are so weak! This is a relatively new development. It is not the FMS pain and weakness that I am used to. It is more like I have been sick with the flu and am trying to get out of bed before I am well enough. They keep wanting to give out on me. Standing for even short periods of time is difficult.

Tried to go to the chiropractor & PT but my daughter lost her keys. She was running around, very stressed, looking for them. I tried to help by asking if she had looked in places I had thought of. My words got all twisted; I stuttered and took a long time to suggest she look in places she had already checked twice. She got very cross with me. The stress made it impossible for me to go. Had to reschedule for Wednesday.
Pain:

• TM - Not to bad for the most part. A bit of a headache, but when I bend over or even lean over the pain shocks me. Level 3 most of the time 7 when I bend over.
• FMS – Still very achy. Every pressure point hurts. I get tired of complaining about it. Level 7

Cognitive:Cannot talk. My daughter, who was already stressed, got so frustrated with me she told me to formulate all the sentences in my head before saying them, including finding the words I want and how they are pronounced. I might as well write a letter. I just stopped talking. Level 9

Tried to organize the papers for the lawyer’s appointment for my SS Disability claim. I thought I had everything in such good order. NOT. This is the story of my life these days.